Monday, June 20, 2011

Why I Deleted My Facebook

The virtues of technology should not be understated.

With that said, there are some things that I find detrimental to one's own health -- like Facebook.

Here is a list of reasons as to why I have deleted my Facebook.

1. You are not you on Facebook.
Facebook is a social network. In most social situations, one wants to save as much face as possible and try to look as cool as possible. The problem is, in physical interactions it is easy to discern a person's personality based on their obvious strengths and faults, how comfortable they seem, etc. On Facebook, you only see things that "Person X" has dubbed worthwhile to share with others -- things people think will provide clout. Socializing is a game of status -- one that Facebook is not free from.

Physical interaction - real. Faults and everything.

Facebook interaction - padded. Faults are hidden and strengths are pushed.

2. You constantly ping others to discern your relative status.
This is something that everyone does all the time to figure out where you stand socially. You will look around a venue or a house party or a classroom and conclude as to who's hotter than you, who's uglier, who seems less cool, etc.

Now, in problem 1, I have identified that people in real life are real and people in Facebook are padded. The problem arises here when you begin to ping padded people for your relative status. A lot of the time one might think "man these people are always having a great time" or "man this guy hangs out with more pretty girls than I do" or "man this girl is so out of my league she's got so many guys on her arm."

Do you see the issue here?

They only post pictures of these things because these are the only things worth sharing. That guy probably spends 1 day a week at most with a girl, but because all his pictures are of parties and bitches you assume he's neck deep in pussy. If we took pictures for his whole life, proportionally you'd have one picture with a cute girl and six with him eating Doritos playing Call of Duty with his buddy Ryan.

Same thing with the girl. She probably goes out on the weekends with a camera to take a shitload of pictures with guys admiring her so she can show off to her friends. The other five days of the week she's watching the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and killing her second tub of moose tracks.

They aren't doing this consciously (at least I don't think so). No one would ever admit they are abusing Facebook for validation. But they are...

3. Facebook is a "Validation Engine."
What is the point of pretending you live an amazing lifestyle? To be better than others. To look better than others.

Have you ever seen a cute girl's picture and the comments below are 50% her girlfriends saying "grl u look soooo pretty xoxoxo love uu!!!!" and then some guys saying "beautiful as always" or something vomit-inducing like that. All this does is validate the girl. It lets her know shes pretty, and if she puts up more pictures she will be further validated on her prettiness -- regardless of who is actually validating her.

I honestly think it's an unwritten rule for girls on Facebook that says "If I validate your pseudo-modeling picture that you got taken for 20 bucks and a blowjob then you validate my pseudo-modeling photo that I got taken for FREE plus the complete loss of my self-esteem."

Guys are guilty of this too. I have a friend who is always saying "we need a Facebook photo for this" or "I'm totally making this my default." The only reason a guy (or girl) would want to take a picture specifically for Facebook is so that they can potentially be validated on it. No one truly cares about your pictures except your mother.

This validation thing is getting terrible. It is causing a wave of positive reinforcement onto ugly girls and socially inept guys. People wonder why American girls are so fucking difficult to deal with and why they all have "princess syndrome" -- well I'm here to say that a huge reason behind that is Facebook. When Susie McFathandles gets complimented every fucking day on her 160 degree angle tit-shot pictures (by her other ugly friends no doubt), she develops a false sense of superiority that translates into her interactions with other people.

This doesn't translate for guys because they don't get enough validation on their Facebook. It just doesn't happen. A man is judged way more by his actions and character than by his photos and looks -- things that Facebook cannot truly show (besides the occasionally still shot).

4. To prove a fucking point.
You should see the look on people's faces when I tell them I don't have a Facebook. Similar reactions could be attained by saying "there's a giant-ass spider on your shoulder" or "your parents are both critically injured from a car accident" or "Sarah Palin got elected president." I bet the look on war-widows faces when the army soldiers tell them their husband died in action are less surprised and distraught than the reactions I get.

I've come to believe people think Facebook is a vital organ. One that you cannot have removed. One day I ran into a friend of mine and we ended up talking about Facebook. She said she had deleted hers -- a.k.a an instant boner from me (girls who don't need validation rock). She then immediately followed that by saying something like "I restored it because my friends kept bugging me." Insta-flacid. She lasted a day I think.

I do enjoy the responses I get. I won't deny that I derive a validation from the reaction. I find it hilarious how important Facebook is to the vast majority. The only person who didn't care is the only other person I know who deleted his Facebook. Even my parents, in their late 50's, concluded it was an odd action on my part.

Disconnecting from any sort of technology has it's own benefits in my opinion. You ever just leave your phone off for a day or two? How about a week? There's a social burden lifted. You are no longer connected, no longer plugged in -- it is relieving. I recommend trying the disconnect, even for a day, if you never have. You can get a lot of shit done if you don't spend so much time net-socializing.




  1. Hey

    I love this post. Probably because I am one of the few others that agrees and deleted my Facebook.

    Did you officially delete your profile? Or did you just 'deactivate' it? I am completely off Facebook grid and did it full on. I learned how here:

    Like you, I LOVE the reactions of people when they casually tell me they'll friend me and then hear that I'm not on Facebook. Priceless.

    However, I will disagree that moving is a proper excuse to reactivate your facebook. That sounds like the girl who went back on because her friends bugged her about it. You can do anything without Facebook. Including starting a new life in a new city. The friends I want to be in touch with are in my phone address book.

    Anyway, best of luck to you. Keep writing. I like your blog.


  2. Just deactivated currently. I may nuke it if I see a reason too.

    I actually decided that I won't be rebooting my facebook upon moving. If it comes to pass that I need to network with it, so be it, but it's something I won't lean on.

    As I said, it's a tool. And thanks for reading.